


The One I Love

by Sue Corkill (mscorkill)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-16
Updated: 2012-05-16
Packaged: 2017-11-05 11:19:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mscorkill/pseuds/Sue%20Corkill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lantesh's unexpected reappearance in Sam's life provides her with the impetus to make some changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One I Love

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to Denise for her insightful comments...and to Wendy, for all her help. For Elliot, who deserved better.
> 
> Originally posted October 2002

THE ONE I LOVE

Sam looked back over her shoulder to where Elliot lay propped against the cold, hard crystal wall. He looked bad, and she sadly acknowledged his injuries must be even worse than she could imagine if his current condition was only being maintained with Lantesh's help. She felt so helpless, her efforts seeming futile as she tugged and moved aside yet another large piece of shattered crystal. _There was no way she'd ever be able to clear the rubble from the cave in on her own_ , she thought grimly, breathing heavily with the exertion. The air supply seemed to be getting thinner. The life support for this area must have been damaged during the cave-in, she speculated as she turned back to her task.

Elliot's last message from Lantesh kept racing circles in her mind, _'He loves you''_. She thought she had pretty much gotten over the remorse and guilt she felt regarding Martouf's death and her inability to be the woman Martouf-and apparently Lantesh-had wanted her to be-a woman who loved him. And now, Lantesh had to tell her this, that he loved her for herself-not for just being the last host for Jolinar. _Why did relationships, and hell, even non-relationships always have to be so complicated?_ Sighing in frustration, she checked her watch, the Colonel and Teal'c should have been back by now, what was taking them so long? She seriously hoped nothing had happened to them, as well. Elliot coughed, a deep wet hacking cough, rattling deep in his chest that contorted his whole body. Sam hurried back to his side and knelt down next to him. Picking up the handkerchief she'd been using, she poured a bit more water on to it, gently wiping his face and mouth. 

"Better?" 

He opened his eyes briefly and gave her a weak smile before closing them again. "Thanks, Major," he whispered hoarsely. 

She smiled faintly in return, settling down at his side. "It really shouldn't be too much longer before the Colonel and Teal'c return," she told him, not sure if she was trying to comfort him or herself.

"He knows you love O'Neill."

Sam froze for a moment, then cautiously looked at Elliot, who still lay with his eyes closed. Where the hell had that come from? "Lieutenant…" she started in a warning tone.

Elliot opened his eyes and looked pointedly at her, "Who am I gonna' tell, Major? You don't have to worry about me," he coughed again-violently-his whole body shaking. Sam held him gently, until the fit eased, once more wiping his pale face as she settled him back against the wall.

"He only has one other regret, Ma'am," Elliot finally gasped out, clutching weakly at her arm.

"Shh…" Sam told him. "Rest."

"No, this is important." He took a shuddering breath before continuing, his hand tightening on her arm, "He doesn't want you to make the same mistake he did." He closed his eyes then, his head flopping on her shoulder, this last effort at speech obviously exhausting him. 

This couldn't go on, she decided suddenly, Elliot throwing Lantesh's thoughts out to her like bombs, exploding around her and raining down in a million pieces as soon as they were voiced. She knew that both the man and the symbiote were weak, but she had to confront this…whatever was going on between her and the Tok'ra. "May I speak with Lantesh?" she finally asked. Her own thoughts were hard enough to deal with, much less having to carry on this three-way conversation between herself, Elliot and Lantesh.

Opening his weary gray eyes, Elliot seemed to look inwards for a moment, then nodded, his eyes glowing briefly. "Samantha," he said, his voice once more containing the deep, resonant tones of Lantesh. "I can only maintain this contact for a brief moment, it is taking all my energies to keep us alive."

"I know, Lantesh." She looked at him helplessly, suddenly unsure of how to proceed now that she was actually speaking with him. "I just wish…" 

"That we could both be with the one we love?" he finished for her. Sam searched Elliot's eyes, seeing such an overwhelming sadness that she felt tears rush to her eyes. 

"Yes," she whispered, her voice breaking. 

"Elliot is right, my only other regret is that I didn't fight harder to win your love. Don't make the same mistake I did, Samantha." Lantesh-Elliot raised his hand, gently wiping away the tears on her face with his too cold and trembling fingers. "Love is worth fighting for, Samantha. Fight for your love." 

Placing her hand over his, Sam turned her head and tenderly kissed his palm. "Thank you."

Elliot let his hand fall away, his eyes closing and his breath coming in short gasps. Sam gently settled him back against the hard wall of the tunnel. Sitting back on her heels, she pulled her bandanna out of her pocket and wiped her eyes, Lantesh's words had touched her deeply. God knows, she didn't want to have regrets in her life, yet she was afraid that she was destined to have one thing she would regret for her entire life. Tucking her bandanna back in her pocket, she looked at Elliot. His eyes were closed and he had hardly any color in his face, obviously the result of Lantesh using so much energy to talk to her. If it wasn't for the too rapid rise and fall of his chest, she'd think he was already dead.

 _What regrets does Elliot have_ , she wondered? _What were the ghosts that currently haunted him in what were more than likely his final hours? Did he have a wife, a girlfriend? Sam felt bad that she didn't even know. What about his family? Was he close to them or estranged?_ Her thoughts couldn't help but drift to her own family, to her brother. _Had he gotten to say good bye to his family before this mission?_ She fervently hoped Elliot's regrets were few. Realizing she'd been sitting there for long moments doing nothing when she should really be trying to clear the tunnel, Sam rose to her knees, reaching out and gently tracing his cheek before she stood. She thought he smiled, just a brief movement of his lips, before she left his side, returning once more to the blocked entrance of their tunnel and her desperate task.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

O'Neill trailed slightly behind the rest of his team; alert to any noise or activity behind him or in the tunnels, listening for any sign of the Jaffa that he knew must be present around them. The sounds reverberated and echoed so, he found it difficult to judge distance or even to know from what direction the sound originated. He only knew they needed to get to the surface-soon-or these tunnels would become their tomb. He saw Carter stumble and then heard her softly voiced swear word. He knew she was tired, worried about Elliot and probably scared; but she kept walking, ever the competent soldier. Teal'c strode stoically ahead of her, literally dragging Elliot along. The boy hadn't voiced one complaint that O'Neill had heard; though he knew the kid had to be barely hanging on. But by god, Elliot had O'Neill's respect and admiration for not only keeping a cool head and helping them, but for also exhibiting unflinching courage in the face of his unexpected blending. Jack shuddered slightly, his hands automatically tightening around his weapon. He wasn't sure he would be so calm if the situation were reversed. Either Elliot was too weak to care or Lantesh was keeping the boy in line. While O'Neill suspected the latter, he was none the less relieved to have Lantesh's help. 

Lantesh…damn, that had been one hell of a surprise, finding out that the Tok'ra had managed to keep the symbiote alive, yet losing Martouf in the process. O'Neill looked at Sam as she gamely trudged on in front of him. He wondered what she thought about Lantesh's survival? But then again, maybe he didn't. Sometimes it was better to not know certain things….

The tunnel seemed to run on endlessly and O'Neill began to wonder how the Tok'ra knew how the tunnels would eventually turn out and where they would end? They couldn't stay underground forever, eventually the Jaffa swarming in the maze of tunnels would find them; their best chance of survival laid in getting to the surface. Plus, they'd need water soon. As if reading his mind, the next words out of Carter's mouth were about their need for water. And, if he had understood Elliot's faintly mumbled words correctly, there might also be a way off the planet-as long as they made it to the surface.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam shivered; just one brief touch from him had the power to start her heart to racing. She desperately wished she could rationalize her feelings away, the threat of the ever-approaching Jaffa, the crash of the Tel'tac with possibly her father and Daniel on board, should all have been more than enough to keep her mind off the Colonel. But no, it was his hand on her shoulder and his softly ordered, _"Stay with Elliot,"_ that had the power to almost overwhelm her and drive everything out of her mind. Sam sighed, and sank down on to the ground next to the slowly dying lieutenant. She took Elliot's cold hand in hers, her fingers gently probing his wrist, searching for a pulse. After long moments, she finally found it, barely palpable-too fast and too weak. 

"I'm still alive, Major." 

Sam smiled slightly at the somewhat wry tone to the young man's weak voice. "I know, Elliot."

"He's getting weaker."

Sam swallowed hard. "I know, just try to hang on a little longer. The Colonel and Teal'c have gone to check out the crash site. Hopefully, my father and Daniel will be with them. We should be out of here soon."

She felt his touch suddenly on her arm, as he gripped it weakly. "Major, if we're not…if something happens and me and Lantesh don't make it…" Elliot's eyes closed and a groan escaped his lips, his face contorting in what looked like pain before he took a deep breath and continued, his voice almost a whisper. "He just wants you to remember what he said, Major." Elliot opened his eyes then and in their pain dimmed depths Sam instinctively knew she saw all the hopes, dreams and regrets of both Elliot and Lantesh. 

"I won't forget," she whispered, a promise to herself and to Elliot, who would die too soon and far away from his own home on this foreign world; and to the memory of Martouf and Lantesh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

O'Neill didn't look back. He strode off, following his team as they hurried away from the approaching Jaffa. Jack heard the telltale sound of the horn in the distance, heralding their advance. He quickened his steps when he saw Teal'c break into a slow trot, urging Jacob and Daniel along. Carter broke into a slow run as well, her hips swaying gently with each step. Jack's eyes narrowed as he watched his second, knowing he shouldn't allow himself to watch her this way, but helpless to stop. The warrior and military leader in him kept track of their surroundings and ever-changing situation, while all that was male in him appreciated the beauty and form of her figure as she jogged in front of him. Hell, even in the face of a horde of Jaffa he still couldn't completely shut down his attraction to her.

O'Neill jogged along, his thoughts drifting back to Elliot. _What the hell had the kid meant when he'd told Carter, 'He's happy now'?_ Hell, Jack knew the only 'he' Elliot could have been referring to was Lantesh. And O'Neill found he was morbidly curious-and anxious-to know what the dying man, symbiote, or whatever, had to be happy about and wanted Carter to know. Of course, a part of O'Neill's mind knew it could be only one thing. Jack wasn't stupid-nor was he blind-he had always known Martouf had a 'thing' for his major. Hell, not that he could blame the other man. Jack knew full well that he personally had a 'thing' for his major too. And, his gut told him that sometime during one of the moments Elliot and Carter had been alone, Lantesh had told Sam how he really felt. And O'Neill also instinctively knew it hadn't been along the lines of 'I like and respect you', he knew Lantesh's confession would have contained the 'L' word. Jack had to admire the other man, no matter how reluctantly. He wasn't sure he'd have the guts to confess his feelings to Sam-even on his deathbed.

Jack saw the object of his thoughts slow down and realized Teal'c had changed direction. O'Neill did a quick survey of the wooded area, not seeing what had attracted the Jaffa's attention, but trusting Teal'c's instincts implicitly, he followed his team members deeper into the woods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elliot closed his eyes and waited. It was getting harder and harder to breath, much less keep his eyes open. 

_"It is all right, my young friend. It is a courageous and noble thing we do."_

"In a blaze of glory," Elliot told his unexpected comrade. He could tell it took Lantesh a moment to understand, and then he sensed a small smile from the Tok'ra. 

_"We will die well. It is all we can hope for now, and that we take our enemy with us."_ Elliot sensed a moment of uncertainty, and then Lantesh continued. _"I regret that you have become a casualty of this war."_

Elliot replied quickly, "No more regrets, Lantesh. You did what you had to do-I don't hold that against you." Elliot heard the horn sounding closer and the heavy steps of booted feet. There was something he wanted to tell Lantesh before it was too late. "I think she'll tell him-and be happy." 

Elliot sensed a sad smile from Lantesh as he replied, _"I hope you are right."_

The first of the Jaffa came into view. Elliot's hand closed around the fragile ampoule. "We have a saying, Lantesh, where I come from. It has been an honor serving with you."

 _"It has been my honor, as well, young friend."_

Elliot could feel a fresh surge of energy from Lantesh and knew the symbiote was doing all he could to help them both through this final battle. "It's a good day to die, Lantesh."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam never took her eyes off Teal'c's broad back as, hours later, they made their way through the field of dead Jaffa. She knew she should be alert, scanning the area for any signs of life, as Teal'c, O'Neill, her father-and even Daniel-were doing. But, she couldn't bring herself to look at any of the corpses. She knew she'd lose it completely if she saw Elliot. And she wouldn't allow herself that particular luxury until she was home, alone, in her darkened living room with a full bottle of Chardonnay. So, she walked blindly behind Teal'c, not even realizing they'd reached the DHD until she heard the Colonel growl, "Dial us the hell out of here, Carter." 

She nodded automatically in acknowledgement of his order and stepping around the body of a dead Jaffa lying beside the DHD, began automatically depressing the glyphs for Earth. She felt someone come and stand next to her, then her father's softly worded, "Are you okay, honey?"

Sam took a deep breath and forced a smile to her lips. "I'm okay, Dad," she reassured him. All right, maybe not the complete truth, but she would be okay once she got home. Activating the central crystal, she watched with relief as the final chevron locked and the energy vortex whooshed into existence.

O'Neill joined them at the DHD once the event horizon stabilized. "You're sure you won't come to Earth with us Jacob?"

"No, sorry, Jack. I need to get to our emergency base and connect with whoever else escaped. Tell George we'll be in touch."

O'Neill nodded, and then started after Daniel and Teal'c for the gate; Sam lingered behind her teammates for a moment. Hugging her father, she held him tightly for a moment while she whispered, "I love you Dad." She pulled free then and without looking back, followed her teammates through the shimmering event horizon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack pulled his truck up outside of Sam's house, wondering-not for the first time-the wisdom of coming to see her unannounced. From the street, the house looked empty, no lights on that he could see. But, she wasn't on base and her car was parked in front of his truck and besides, Daniel had told him that Sam had left for home as soon as Fraiser had cleared her. God knows, he was in the dark about what had compelled him to turn off the highway into her subdivision, following the roads that would lead him to her door. There was just something about the look in her eyes, the numb expression on her face as they'd walked through the field of dead Jaffa on Revanna that twisted his guts. He knew she hadn't wanted to see Elliot dead, hell, Jack hadn't wanted to either. But, he had quickly spotted the young man, lying in the midst of a large group of fallen Jaffa and another individual who hadn't been wearing warrior's garb. Elliot had looked almost peaceful, and Jack would swear that there was a faint smile on the dead lieutenant's face. Not a bad day's work, all in all, for a soldier. And while Jack knew that Elliot-and the others who had died-would be brought home and receive military funerals with full honors, that wouldn't provide much comfort to those they had left behind.

Ruthlessly pushing his morbid thoughts aside, Jack shut off the truck's engine and glanced once more at the dark house. He saw a faint movement at the front window and then moments later, the front door opened. He could just make out Sam's figure, dimly illuminated by the distant streetlight. Taking a deep breath, Jack opened the truck's door and hopped out, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest that told him he'd rather face a horde of Jaffa than to try and comfort a woman he had no business even being near in a non-work situation. _But hell,_ he thought grimly, _no guts-no glory;_ striding up her walk and to the open door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam silently watched O'Neill approach. She had heard the truck pull up, and been surprised-and thrilled-when she'd looked out the window and recognized his vehicle. Unfortunately from her perspective, after only two glasses of a nice Chardonnay, she was any where near close to the numb, unfeeling state she desperately wanted. However, she did know that she'd had enough alcohol to lower some of her tightly held inhibitions. So…no regrets, she decided, remembering Lantesh's words and her own promise to both Elliot and Lantesh. So, while she might have something to regret by morning, it wouldn't be that she hadn't told O'Neill how she really felt, she resolved, standing aside and letting O'Neill enter her home. She closed the door and locked it, determined to finally tell Jack her feelings for him. 

The Colonel stood there, looking just a bit awkward, in her small foyer. He tugged his black watchcap off and Sam smiled slightly as he ran his fingers through his already hopelessly tousled hair. "Carter…." She brushed past him without saying anything, gesturing for him to follow her. Sam led him down the hall to her living room, the cozy space illuminated by a fire burning briskly behind the glass doors. 

"Sit down, Jack," she told him not missing the sharp look on his face as she used his first name. She crossed over to the kitchen, taking another wineglass out of the cupboard and returning to the living room, where O'Neill, having removed his coat, now sat at the far end of the sofa. A bottle of wine sat in the ice bucket on the coffee table and she picked it up, pouring him a glass and then refreshing hers. She handed O'Neill the glass, which he seemed somewhat reluctant to take, but he finally did, his fingers just brushing hers and sending a frisson of electricity through her body. 

Sam raised her glass in a toast, "To fallen comrades." She swallowed down her whole glass while O'Neill took a cautious sip of his. Sam picked up the bottle, pouring what was left into her glass. "All out," she chuckled dryly. "Better get some more." Leaving Jack sitting in silence on the sofa, she returned to the kitchen. 

He called out after her, "How much have you had to drink, Carter?"

She pulled her head-and a fresh bottle of Chardonnay-out of the fridge and hollered across the room to him. "Not near enough, sir." Rummaging noisely in the utensil drawer for the corkscrew, she finally found it and expertly opened the bottle. Sam walked back into the living room, Jack's face in profile as he watched the flames, still holding the almost full glass of wine in his large hard. She placed the bottle in the ice bucket and then sat down in the middle of the sofa, closer than what common sense would dictate that she sit next to O'Neill. She took another fortifying swallow of wine.

"It doesn't help, Sam."

She laughed bitterly. "Oh, I know that, sir. Believe me." Feeling more than a bit reckless she took another large swallow of the smooth white wine. "But it's better than nothing."

"Sam…"

She interrupted him, her voice harsh. "What are you going to do, sir? Give me a pep talk? Noble death, just cause, way of the warrior bull shit?"

"Sam…it's what we do."

"Right, it's what we do. I must have forgotten that while we left Elliot to die."

"That's a bit harsh."

O'Neill sounded confused and defensive and Sam suddenly felt all her temporary hostility drain out of her. No regrets…. He had sought her out, and she suddenly wanted to know why. "Why are you here, Jack?" That quick sideways look again, when she used his name. 

"Because I was concerned," he answered after a long moment. She couldn't tell if the admission was forced or not, but his tone was definitely reluctant. She watched as he gestured towards the bottle of wine and her now empty glass. "Because I was afraid you'd be doing something like this. Sitting in the dark, trying to forget."

Sam sighed heavily and slouched down on to the cushions, staring at the fire. "That's part of the problem, I don't want to forget." She glanced towards him; he looked steadily back at her. "We-Elliot, Lantesh and I-we talked about regrets." She straightened up then, suddenly filled with determination. "I don't want to have any regrets, Jack." She could see the sudden flare of understanding in his deep brown eyes.

"Sam, what are you saying?" His eyes flashed with cautious hope, though his voice remained calm and he sat his still almost full wineglass down.

She shifted, so that she faced him and scooting closer, reached out with a trembling hand and tenderly caressed his cheek, letting her hand glide slowly down his neck to his shoulder. "I love you." Leaning closer, she steadied herself with the hand still resting on his shoulder and delicately brushed his lips with hers. When he didn't respond, she pulled back and looked somberly at him, unable to read his now closed expression. "I just wanted you to know," she murmured, suddenly embarrassed and feeling stone cold sober. She let her hand trail down his arm whispering, "I'm sorry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The touch of her hand as she let it flow down his arm finally jerked Jack out of the spell her soft confession and kiss had wrought over him. Though her face held that determined look he was so familiar with, he could tell by the slight tremor of her lips that she was trying to put on a brave front for him. His heart leapt inside his chest. She loved him!

"God, Sam!" he exclaimed, breaking out of his reverie and closing the distance between them, pulling her into his arms. Sliding one arm around her waist, he supported her shoulders and brought his mouth down to hers. The momentary tenseness in her muscles quickly dissipated and her soft sigh feathered across his cheek as she relaxed in his embrace. Capturing her lips with his, Jack cautiously kissed her. Meeting no resistance, he opened his mouth and tentatively brushed her soft lips with his tongue. When she parted her lips for him, he groaned and deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping into her mouth. He felt her hands clutching at his shoulders as she pressed herself even tighter against him. Shifting her slightly in his arms, he slid a hand up to cup the back of her head, holding her more securely for his ravenous mouth. Sweeping his tongue deep into her mouth, Jack tangled it with hers, stroking and teasing. Finally forced to come up for air, Jack reluctantly broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers, panting slightly.

He sighed appreciatively as one of her hands left his shoulder and tenderly stroked his nape, caressing the short hairs there. "What did Elliot say to you?" he questioned, his voice husky, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke. 

Jack loosened his hold on her as she pulled back slightly. The look of pure and utter love on her face nearly took his breath away. And in spite of the shadows he could still see in her eyes at the mention of Elliot, she sighed softly and said, "Actually, it was Lantesh."

He couldn't stop the quick frown that flashed across his face at the mention of the now dead Tok'ra's name. She merely smiled understandingly at him and said, "You don't have to worry, Jack, I never loved Lantesh or Martouf."

Some residual tightening in his chest he hadn't even realized was there loosened at her words. The hand on his nape trailed a tender caress over an ear, feathering lightly across his cheek before coming to rest on his shoulder as she continued, her voice soft and loving. "Lantesh told me his biggest regret was not fighting harder for the woman he loved." 

Jack knew instinctively that Lantesh had meant Sam, but said nothing, more curious than anxious now as to what had been said.

"And he didn't want me to have the same regret."

"So…" he murmured expectantly, hoping that she meant what he thought she meant.

"So…this is me, having no regrets-and fighting for the man I love-no matter what the cost."

Hearing the passion in her voice and seeing the look of total determination on her face convinced him that she meant every word. He shuddered and pulled her back into his arms, crushing her to his chest. He nuzzled her hair, murmuring, "Are you sure, Sam? Because I'll do what ever it takes." And he would, he vowed, he'd do everything in his power to make sure she never had to regret loving him. 

He felt her head move against his in affirmation. "Whatever it takes." 

Jack growled then, low in his throat, and gently pushed Sam down on the cushions, moving to lie over her. Tugging at one of her knees, he insinuated himself between her legs and she acquiesced and spread her legs, giving him room to nestle between her thighs. Resting his weight on his elbows and forearms, he cradled her face between his large hands and began kissing her. Taking her mouth with slow, deep and very thorough kisses that soon had her moaning helplessly against his lips, her legs tightening around him, her hands clutching at his shoulders.

She shifted her hips, arching into him and it was his turn to groan as she rubbed herself against the erection suddenly straining to life beneath his jeans. Jack ran his hand down her side in a slow caress to her butt, trying to pull her more firmly against him, only to growl in frustration when they almost toppled off the sofa. Sam laughed breathlessly as he growled, "Your bedroom-now!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam couldn't help the soft moan that issued from her lips as Jack levered himself off her, his lean body rubbing against her in a slow caress. Feeling bemused by the sudden change in their relationship, she simply lay back against the cushions for a moment and drank in the sight of her soon-to-be lover. His deep brown eyes, full of lust and desire; his long, tall frame and strongly muscled body that would soon be all hers. Jack gave her a questioning smile and she held out her arm to him. He grabbed her hand and she let him pull her to her feet. Jack didn't release her hand, and she kissed him quickly, before pulling him along behind her through the rest of the quiet house to her bedroom.

She tugged her hand free as they entered the darkened room and quickly crossed to the bedside table, turning on the small lamp there. The room was immediately suffused with a soft glow from the lamp. Sam turned and found herself back in Jack's arms; his hot mouth immediately pressing soft, wet kisses on her face, her throat; his hands busy tugging on her sweater. She arched into him, moaning softly when his hands finally found the bare skin of her back and his fingers began dancing up and down her spine. 

"Jack," she murmured softly, trying to think clearly as he nipped and sucked at the tender skin of her neck. A suddenly disquieting thought had occurred to her. As wonderful as his kisses and his touch were, she couldn't suppress the unwelcome feeling that things were moving too fast between them. She had confessed her love, and while she didn't expect him to parrot her words in return, she realized she wasn't at all confident of what he did feel-just that he would do whatever it took. God help her-and it might be incredibly pathetic on her part-but she suddenly needed to know exactly what he meant by that statement. And right now, in her still fragile emotional state, she needed that reassurance. "Jack," she said more forcefully, pushing at his shoulders. That got his attention as he drew his head back slightly, his passion flushed face just inches from hers.

"What?" he questioned, his expression sweetly baffled.

She didn't know how else to say it, so she just blurted out. "You're not doing this," she gestured towards the bed, "because you feel sorry for me, are you?" Her heart sank, as his expression became impassive, his eyes turning dark. 

"You think I'd risk both our careers for some casual sex?" He snorted, "Hell, if that was the case, I'd have been screwing you a long time ago."

She winced slightly at his crude phrase. "No," she ventured cautiously; wishing she'd never brought it up, and just accepted whatever he'd offered-no questions asked. "I just…" her voice trailed off and she looked helplessly at him, wordlessly pleading for understanding.

His eyes softened, his lips curving in a gentle smile. "I'm sorry, Sam." She looked at him, her expression grave before she gave him a tentative smile. "I guess I didn't make myself clear enough earlier." He reached up and gently brushed back her hair off her forehead, trailing his hand caressingly down her cheek. She leaned into his touch as he murmured, "What I should have said is that I love you. And I won't let you regret loving me."

She gulped, feeling tears threaten at his unexpected confession. "Oh, Jack," she cried softly, reaching up to cradle his face tenderly with both hands. "I love you so much." Pulling his head down to hers, she kissed him, opening her mouth and tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth until he groaned, opening his mouth in return and allowing her entrance. She felt his hands slide down her back to her butt, where he cupped her cheeks, pulling her tight against his arousal. She moaned into his mouth, rubbing herself against him as she teased his tongue with her own.

Sam wriggled against him as his hands once more found her back, stepping back just enough so that Jack could pull her sweater off over her head. He let it drop to the floor and Sam gloried in the look of blatant desire that filled his face as he studied her torso. She smiled seductively and brought her hands up to unfasten her bra, but he smiled and brushed them away, his warm fingers deftly undoing the front clasp. Sam lowered her arms as he peeled the lacy white cups back, exposing her to his ardent gaze. Arching her back slightly, she delighted in the renewed flare of desire she saw in his eyes as he pulled the bra straps down her arms. She shrugged her shoulders, showing off her breasts for him as she let the garment drop to the floor. 

She shuddered with delight as Jack trailed his hands teasingly along her collarbones, his long fingers sliding delicately along her flesh until he cupped a soft mound in each hand. "So beautiful," he muttered, his thumbs moving in tandem across her straining nipples. Sam clutched at his arms for support as he lowered his head to her neck, his mouth following the same path as his fingers as he placed wet, opened mouth kisses against her skin, leaving a damp trail down to her breasts. She gasped sharply, clinging desperately to him, her knees suddenly going weak when he took a sensitive nipple into his mouth, tugging and pulling strongly at the tender bud. Her head fell back and she threaded the fingers of one hand through his hair, holding him close as he suckled at her breasts.

"Oh, god…Jack!" she all but sobbed, sagging against him as the pleasure escalated to the point where she didn't know if her legs would continue to support her. He slid a strong arm around her waist, holding her up as he pivoted, turning her with him so that her back was towards the bed. Feeling the mattress against her legs, she whimpered gratefully as he reached around her, pulling the duvet down and lowering her swiftly onto the bed. Sam scooted back onto the mattress, stretching out and arching temptingly towards him. His grin grew feral as she softly called his name again. He leant down and quickly unzipped her jeans, tugging them down and off her long, slender legs. He slowly slid his hands back up her legs in one; long caress until he reached her panties, then tugged them off as well.   
Jack stood quietly, not moving a muscle, staring down at her nude form for so long she began to feel self-conscious. Sam shifted restlessly, her hand fumbling across the bed for the sheet.

"No, Sam, please…." Jack suddenly spoke, his voice rough. "Don't cover yourself from me, you're so damn beautiful and I want you so badly." His voice vibrated with such deep emotion, Sam relaxed back against the pillows, no longer shy at being naked while he was still fully dressed. She watched in breathless anticipation as Jack's nimble fingers began unfastening the buttons on his shirt. Flinging it off, he pulled his T-shirt off. He grinned lopsidedly at her then, as he sat down on the edge of the bed and unlaced his boots, tossing them and his socks aside. The mattress dipped as he stood back up and unfastened his jeans, his passion bright eyes never leaving her face as shucked them and his boxers off. Jack stood proudly before her as she drank in the erotic sight of his lean, muscled body. Her gaze traveled helplessly from his broad shoulders, down his well-defined and lightly haired chest and abdomen, down to his hips and strongly muscled thighs and then came to rest helplessly on his groin. His impressive erection made her mouth go suddenly dry. She licked her lips, unexpectedly nervous now that they had finally reached this point, and saw his nostrils flare and eyes flash with desire.

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Jack didn't think he'd ever been as aroused with any woman as he was now, with Sam. He regularly got hard just seeing her in fatigues, so to have her naked and waiting for him, was pushing his control to the edge. First time, he kept reminding himself, there's only one first time and he desperately wanted to please Sam, above everything else. She had been loved and desired from afar by so many men, that he was both proud and humbled to be the one to whom she'd not only given her heart, but her body as well. Her gift to him was one he meant to savor and cherish.

Sensing the slight uncertainty now present even behind her obvious willingness, Jack lay down on his side, crowding in next to her. Propping himself up on his elbow, he slowly smiled down at her, and with his other hand began delicately tracing her delicate features. Holding her luminous blue eyes captive with his, he began to speak softly. "I've loved you and wanted you for so long, it doesn't seem like there's a moment when I haven't loved you." Running his fingers lightly down her nose, he continued. "It was easier to deny what I felt and put up barricades than to actually deal with my feelings. And as long as you were still with me, as part of my team, I knew I'd always have you." His lips twisted into a wry smile as he watched her brow wrinkle when she frowned at his words. Smoothing his fingers across her forehead he chuckled, "Hey, I never said it made any sense."

She smiled lovingly and asked, "So what happened, that you're now willing to take that next step?"

"Whatever happened between us, Sam, was always your decision." He smiled a bit ruefully, "I've been living in hope that one day your love would…"

She interrupted him then, placing a soft finger to his lips, "…be stronger than my fear?"

"Conquer your regrets," he clarified, clasping her hand with his and kissing her palm. She placed a hand on his shoulder, drawing herself closer and Jack quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her fully into his embrace and kissing her deeply. His tongue tangled with hers as he ran a hand down her back in a long sweeping stroke, caressing her bottom and then gliding along her firm thigh, urging her leg up over his. He groaned as she tightened her leg around him drawing him closer, his throbbing length finding a resting-place between her thighs as he thrust his hips into her softness.

Sam gave a startled cry into his mouth as he wrapped his arms securely around her and rolled onto his back. The feel of her firm body pressed full-length against his was the most exquisite torture. Her breasts rubbed enticingly against his chest, his throbbing erection was trapped against her soft belly and every time she moved, the shifting pressure teased him. Jack slid his hands down her back and ass, sliding down the backs of her thighs, urging her legs apart. She stopped nibbling and sucking at his neck when she realized his intent. Jack groaned low in his chest when she slowly sat up, straddling his hips and steadying herself with her hands on his shoulders. God, she was beautiful, he thought hungrily, her eyes heavy with desire, cheeks flushed, lips slightly parted as she panted softly over him. 

Bringing one hand to her hip to steady her, Jack slowly feathered the other one slowly across her soft body to the juncture of her thighs. Sam sighed softly and lifted herself up slightly to allow him easier access, her strong legs clamped firmly around his hips. She shivered and moaned breathlessly at his first tentative touch. Jack smiled and whispered "Easy," as he continued to gently explore her slick folds, testing her readiness. Sam whimpered, the sound heaven to his ears, as her hips starting to move slowly against his hand as his questing fingers searched for and found her tender opening. Gently probing with one long finger, he found her wet and ready. He urged her further up his body, trying to guide her to his straining erection. "Help me, Sam," he pleaded, his voice rough with desire.

Jack felt her weight shift forward and then her hand closed gently around his penis. He groaned, his hips automatically moving into her touch, her hand both caressing and insistent as she guided him to her tender opening. He looked down the length of his body as she raised herself up on her knees; her soft folds just brushing the tip of his engorged penis as she held him poised at the entrance to her body. Sliding his hands to her hips to help steady her, Jack gritted his teeth at the almost unbearable pleasure as she slowly guided him into her silky depths. God, she was so tight, he almost couldn't bear it, her body reluctantly allowing him entrance as his shaft broached her tender recesses. He tightened his grip on the soft skin of her waist, pressing down a bit more firmly and thrusting his hips upwards. He heard her soft sigh and then she suddenly sank down on him and he groaned helplessly as his penis pushed deep into her supple channel.

"Oh, Jack…" he dimly heard her breathless sob as her weight settled fully on him and she tentatively began rocking her hips against him. He moved with her, his hands sliding down to her thighs and clenching on the firm muscles as he helped to guide her movements. Even though this was their first time together, Jack felt in such synchrony with Sam, that they soon settled into an easy, almost familiar rhythm. Jack was determined to keep the pace slow, even though the insistent tug and pull of her tight internal muscles was slowly pushing him to the limits of his control. He fastened his gaze on his lover's beautiful face as she slowly rode him. Her eyes were closed, a look of intense pleasure filling her features, her hips rocking relentlessly against his. Realizing he was getting close and determined to ensure Sam's pleasure, Jack moved his right hand from Sam's hip to between their joined bodies. 

He heard her breath catch, and then she whimpered his name as his fingers deftly sought out and found her clitoris. Circling and stroking in time with her movements, Jack was soon able to expertly bring Sam to the ultimate in pleasure. Her lithe form suddenly tensed above his, a soft cry escaping her as her climax began rippling through her. Jack thrust up sharply with his hips and held her firmly in place as she convulsed on him, her hands gripping tightly to shoulders. Her soft cries of ecstasy filled the room as she ground herself against him for endless moments of pleasure. 

A low growl soon rumbled from Jack as the fevered contractions of her internal muscles pushed him over the edge, her quivering form collapsing on him as he finally submitted to his own need. Holding her tightly against his chest, he thrust deep several more times into her willing body before spilling his seed deep in her silky depths.

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Sam let out a shuddering breath as Jack's body finally stilled beneath hers. Burying her face in his throat and stroking his hair, she luxuriated in the intense feeling of well being and satisfaction that filled her entire body. She snuggled close as she felt his large hands move soothingly up and down her sweaty back in long, gentle caresses. When she finally spoke, her voice was low and breathless; "God, Jack that was incredible."

She wriggled a bit against him, enjoying the shared aftermath of their mutual passion and smiling in contentment when his voice rumbled in her ear. "No regrets?"

"No regrets," she affirmed, her voice confidant. Jack began to slowly move, and Sam reluctantly eased herself off him as he shifted her to lie on her back. She studied his beloved face intently as he gazed down at her, the look of love and utter satisfaction in his eyes reassuring her more than any words ever could. She reached up and gently caressed his cheek, her voice overflowing with emotion as she told him, "I will never regret loving you."

THE END


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